The gynecologist told me …

by Claudia Ravaldi

How does it feel to get good care? A mother tells us about it.

Hello, I am a mother of a five-year-old girl and a child whose heartbeat died at fifteen weeks plus four.

At the hospital they gave me the Memory Box and helped me to get to know your association.

I can’t think there are single mothers with no one to talk to, because the hospital may not have provided the right care or that they have not been informed of your existence.

A but the Memory Box is very useful and the ciaolapo forum has kept me and keeps me a deep company.

I wanted to know if anything can be done to overcome this silence that is rampant on this topic.

Because we are many and we are all mothers.

Let me know if and what I can help with.

I live in Piedmont, my hospital is in Moncalieri.

I have read of many mothers who in other cities were even treated badly, silenced, ignored, right at that moment.

I am sure you arrived at my hospital, I think you did some training because the medical staff, everything from midwives to oss, gynecologists, everyone, were deeply human, which I read to be rare, I felt like they did. he loved, at least in that moment, as if I were a sister, a friend, they were all broken, they caressed me some physically and some my heart.

I asked the doctor if I could see my baby and she said sure .

So I met him, I was afraid he would “impress” me I had no idea what he was like but when he arrived I was strangely happy to see him and the doctor said to me: “He couldn’t impress her, it’s hers.”

This has helped me a lot and in my opinion those who have not received this type of assistance and “affection” have also perhaps found more difficulties in the recovery.

They gave me the memory box with a signature, I read a few days ago that maybe it was given to me by another mother, I would love to meet her, is this possible?

I am trying in my small way to talk about this kind of pain to everyone, to raise awareness of the right to suffer, and to make people understand how painful silence is, and how painful are the words spoken to diminish.

My baby was “only” in the sixteenth week, but I saw him, he was beautiful and perfect, he just had to grow more, he was fully formed.

It was not a ” nothing ” as I am told, certainly to make me feel better, but it doesn’t make me better.

I find myself in everything you write.

At the hospital they told me that on your site I would find comfort from other mothers.

At first I read and closed immediately, after a few words, my heart tore with pain at every word I read.

For example, my mom used to tell me, “Don’t read that site anymore, it makes you feel worse”. And maybe it was also true, at first it hurt me, but because I looked my suffering in the face , without trying to hide it as society dictates.

“It’s over, that’s enough, there’s nothing to feel bad about. You already have one. Make another one.”

Then I started reading everything.

Then I wrote too.

And I’ve always been “better”.

Sharing is precious, the warmth of other mothers, profound.

We are not alone, we are many, and everyone must know that we exist, that our children have existed and will exist forever and that the pain is immense.

And that’s right.

I have a strange awareness, I feel a lot changed.

I really wish there weren’t even a mom alone. Let everyone at least know. and I would also like everyone else to know, accept, and understand.

But I think this is almost impossible.

Thanks again for everything, which unknowingly gave me. If I can be useful in any way please tell me …. I am here. A hug to her and to Lapo, whom we hope she knows the good she does to all of us ..


Thanks to the Moncalieri hospital that has been working for many years on assisting mothers and couples with respect, competence and a continuous desire to improve.

Thanks to Lucia Canale and Simona Maggi, my Piedmontese champions, who have been supporting me for years in CiaoLapo’s awareness and education work.

Thanks to this mother. Because it is good to read the effect that “the strange awareness” has on mothers. (I am so happy, when awareness arises!)

The awareness of having an innate, intrinsic value.

The awareness of deserving care, respect and listening.

The awareness that our bodies are sacred, and our children too.

The awareness of the immense power of sharing as an opportunity for growth.

With extreme gratitude (yes, to you too, my child, progenitor of infinite awareness)

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