Your cradle is my heart

by Claudia Ravaldi
CiaoLapo Onlus
CiaoLapo Onlus

The life narrated in this book is that of parents expecting a child, called to confront the pain and absence of that child, experienced a breath and yet unforgettable, as unforgettable is anyone who receives our love.

Perinatal death, and the resulting mourning, is a tortuous and demanding journey, which affects two million and six hundred thousand families around the world every year. In the book, parents tell their journey, day after day, month after month, made up of pain, search for meaning, uncertainty, hope but, above all, of unconditional love for their children that can be read in every word and that, punctual as a guide, accompanies parents in the fatigue of mourning and rebirth. It is the book of Ettore, Matteo, Alberto, Mattia, Leonardo, Paolo Gabriele and Linda, Paolo and Alice. But it is also the book of all the families of children who, like shooting stars, cross the sky for an instant, illuminating it forever. “(Giovanni Avesani, Publisher)

“For those who know the association CiaoLapo , the book “Your cradle is my heart” is nothing new, indeed, it is the literary culmination of the work of a team of people who have taken on an emotional, medical, scientific and social baggage that was previously ignored, unknown, hidden: perinatal bereavement. (…) “Your cradle is my heart”, however, collects the stories of eight “meteor” children and their parents, telling us the facts and emotions that characterized these births and these losses; it is the story of Ettore, Alberto, Matteo, Mattia, Leonardo, Paolo Gabriele and Linda, Paolo and Alice . And it is the story of their parents who, regardless of their children’s pathologies and gestational ages, all share the same pain.

The pain of the parents of “Your cradle is my heart” is deaf, blind and dumb , often not recognized as real grief. The mothers and fathers protagonists of the book have to face, in addition to the immeasurable pain of loss, of the birth of a silent child , of empty arms, the impact with a world not ready to face such a reality: cynicism, ignorance, unpreparedness surround suffering parents who only need intelligence, sensitivity, education.

“Your cradle is my heart” is a difficult book to read, because it tells of an unimaginable, unspeakable pain that you don’t even want to think can exist. But it exists and must be known and faced because, as Claudia Ravaldi, Lapo’s mother likes to say, quoting Primo Levi, “If understanding is impossible, knowing is necessary”.
But you learn a lot and change: you know a unique love in which a parent loves unconditionally not because of the child’s laughter or intelligence, not for beauty or good grades at school, not for liveliness or hugs before bed. (Serena Chiarion, The Voice)

“Whoever reads these pages I hope will do so with attention and respect. I believe then that she will never again be able to doubt the fact that perinatal mourning is the mourning for the death of a child: as small as a grain of rice or ready for life, but always and in any case an only and irreplaceable child, like all of us. ” CM Xella

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